Choose Your Own  Adventure

1)  You stare at the page, beaming with anticipation.  Here, you are the master of your own destiny.  The epitome of free will, you set off to craft your own adventure.  If you are a pirate in the 1640’s, go to line 2.  If you are a god-like king in the year 3760, go to line 3.  If you are a recent high school graduate in the present day, go to line 5.

2)  A swashbuckling menace, you rule the high seas with an iron hook.  Well, you would have, had you not contracted scurvy.  Go to line 4.

3)  Post-apocalyptic earth has become a barren wasteland: no people, no food, and no water.  As the only survivor, you assume your role as king, but are feeling slightly parched.  Go to line 4.

4)  You die a horrible, unfortunate and untimely death.

5)  You are in a world championed by technological innovation and are of legal drinking age; it’s a great time to be alive.  However, you find yourself at a daunting crossroads as the many different aspects of your life pull you in opposing directions.  If you follow your creative passion in hopes of achieving independent fame and fortune, go to line 6.  If you seek bliss through the throes of young love and elope with your high school sweetheart, go to line 10.  If you pursue a higher education, go to line 13.

6)  Following your passion, you find minimal success, but are proud of your work.  If you continue to seek success through your passion, go to line 7.  If you seek a more traditional route to success and pursue a higher education, go to line 13.

7)  You continue to master your creative craft while receiving limited exposure in local newspapers.  Despite growing local success, you strive to be better.  Go to line 8.  If you refuse to go to line 8, re-read line 7.  If you read line 7 thirty-two times, go to line 9.

8)  In an attempt to further explore your creativity, you begin to experiment with drugs.  The seemingly harmless activity leads you down a slippery slope towards heroin.  You neglect your friends, family and passion and become powerless to the drug’s allure.  Go to line 4.

9)  Resistance is futile; go to line 8.

10) You and your love are together and all seems well.  However, with a baby on the way and bills piling faster than you can pay them, you begin to fight.  It becomes so bad that you feel your future together is a matter of chance.  Roll a die.  If you roll 1-3 go to line 11.  If you roll 4-6 go to line 12.  If you do not possess a die, assume you roll a 4.

11) Unable to bear the growing conflict, your love leaves you in the middle of the night. Seeking fulfillment elsewhere, you hunt for your dream job.  Go to line 15.

12) Go to line 11.

13) You quickly become accustomed to the overcrowded lecture halls and perform very well academically.  Though you’ve been assured that you will one day be compensated for the investment in your education, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the current financial burden.  If you drop out in pursuit of hasty monetary gains, go to line 15.  If you remain in school, go to line 14.

14) Your graduation ceremony ends.  The last four years yielded you a good degree, great friends and unforgettable memories.  Reminiscing as you drive away from the campus, you grow apprehensive towards the thought of the ‘real world’ and wish you didn’t have to leave. Alas, there’s no going back now; you can only move forward from here.  Go to line 15.

15) Ready to work, you enter the job market.  You hold off for a position that seems like the right fit and eventually find a job at a firm where you believe that you can really make a difference.  Years pass and you find yourself slowly climbing the corporate ladder.  If this job is not for you, quit and re-read line 15.  Once you are content with your choice of firm, go to line 16.

16) Having found marginal success at your job, you look to settle down.  You get married and start a family.  Each year slowly becomes more indistinguishable than the last.  Long from now, on your deathbed, you woefully reflect on your life and imagine everything that you could have done differently.

Brendan Scullion is a student at Western University.  He is pursuing a Minor in creative writing.